








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 990 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 224 matches | 1,879 | |
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2899 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3715 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2492 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2821 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2006 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $935,502 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | irwin | 59% | 44 |
| #2 | Wp | 57% | 47 |
| #3 | fson | 52% | 182 |
| #4 | f____W | 52% | 157 |
| #5 | ze_one(-(-_-)-) | 51% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | funkman | 50% | 54 |
| #7 | cato | 50% | 54 |
| #8 | le Yo.L | 49% | 68 |
| #9 | NoOz | 44% | 85 |
| #10 | MEGABONK | 43% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEGABONK | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | fson | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | NoOz | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | funkman | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Wp | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fson | 664 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | ze_one(-(-_-)-) | 412 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | f____W | 407 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | MEGABONK | 333 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | funkman | 269 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fson | +4.38 | 77 | 77 |
| #2 | cato | +1.13 | 74 | 72 |
| #3 | funkman | +0.38 | 56 | 73 |
| #4 | f____W | +0.26 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | Wp | -0.19 | 52 | 61 |





