








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1086 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 187 matches | 1,797 | |
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3064 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2721 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2530 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1703 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,206,860 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wp | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | fson | 52% | 93 |
| #3 | dmf | 52% | 157 |
| #4 | NoOz | 47% | 87 |
| #5 | le Yo.L | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | le Yo.L | 47% | 30 |
| #6 | irwin | 47% | 60 |
| #7 | funkman | 44% | 18 |
| #8 | MEGABONK | 43% | 104 |
| #9 | ze_one(-(-_-)-) | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEGABONK | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | dmf | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | irwin | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Wp | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | le Yo.L | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEGABONK | 389 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | dmf | 362 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | fson | 357 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | NoOz | 259 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Wp | 131 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fson | +4.57 | 77 | 75 |
| #2 | funkman | +0.83 | 57 | 73 |
| #3 | f____W | +0.47 | 80 | 66 |
| #4 | Wp | +0.42 | 55 | 58 |
| #5 | dmf | -0.74 | 64 | 64 |





