








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 571 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 128 matches | 1,585 | |
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1508 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1493 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1339 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1068 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,601 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cato | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | le Yo.L | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | ze_one(-(-_-)-) | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | pata | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | fson | 54% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | NoOz | 47% | 45 |
| #8 | Wp | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | f____W | 43% | 104 |
| #10 | dmf | 43% | 88 |
| #11 | funkman | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmf | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | funkman | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | le Yo.L | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f____W | 283 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | fson | 272 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | dmf | 223 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | NoOz | 129 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | ze_one(-(-_-)-) | 96 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fson | +5.28 | 79 | 76 |
| #2 | cato | +4.58 | 68 | 67 |
| #3 | funkman | +1.08 | 67 | 74 |
| #4 | Wp | +0.66 | 53 | 57 |
| #5 | f____W | +0.31 | 80 | 70 |





