








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5507 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4305 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3354 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4160 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $468,019 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 308 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toast | 460 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #2 | Cakir | 448 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | -maxDS- | 303 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #4 | Cicolini | 249 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | mjm15cs | 229 | 0.19 | 5 min |





