








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1185 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1270 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1095 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 875 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $290,018 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | icyfire48 | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | imissher | 83% | 12 |
| #3 | Cornbread | 75% | 28 |
| #4 | Chen | 71% | 14 |
| #5 | DeeWuu | 59% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Holy gabe | 50% | 8 |
| #8 | blue razz | 50% | 10 |
| #9 | rat | 47% | 47 |
| #10 | J Sauce | 47% | 43 |
| #11 | dexa! | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeeWuu | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | J Sauce | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | rat | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Cornbread | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | imissher | 2 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeeWuu | 201 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | J Sauce | 108 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Meat Cube | 101 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | rat | 76 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cornbread | 62 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | icyfire48 | +2.30 | 59 | 60 |
| #2 | DeeWuu | +1.92 | 68 | 59 |
| #3 | sil | +1.73 | 80 | 60 |
| #4 | Cornbread | +1.28 | 59 | 68 |
| #5 | dexa! | +1.10 | 66 | 42 |





