








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1490 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2724 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2421 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2188 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $439,941 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cornbread | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | imissher | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | SpennyS | 67% | 24 |
| #4 | sil | 59% | 88 |
| #5 | Meat Cube | 59% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Wook | 53% | 30 |
| #9 | Holy gabe | 50% | 18 |
| #10 | Chen | 45% | 33 |
| #11 | fat fuck | 33% | 12 |
| #12 | PDG4 | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rat | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | sil | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | imissher | 8 | 0.0185 |
| #4 | J Sauce | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Chen | 5 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sil | 339 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Meat Cube | 279 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | J Sauce | 229 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | rat | 193 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | SpennyS | 116 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeeWuu | +2.14 | 69 | 56 |
| #2 | Cornbread | +1.53 | 60 | 67 |
| #3 | J Sauce | +1.47 | 81 | 54 |
| #4 | SpennyS | +0.91 | 60 | 65 |
| #5 | sil | +0.84 | 80 | 62 |





