








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 140 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2847 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4250 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2616 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3662 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $754,954 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pachrik | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | CDJ | 65% | 40 |
| #3 | Randyman <3 | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | >:{ | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | Farleez | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | sophie | 51% | 109 |
| #12 | Bil1337 | 49% | 55 |
| #13 | bear | 44% | 18 |
| #14 | RJS | 43% | 21 |
| #15 | 127mjb | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hitsy | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | CLB o.O | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Randyman <3 | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | sophie | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | 127mjb | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CDJ | 161 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | sophie | 142 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | RJS | 139 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #4 | Farleez | 107 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bil1337 | 102 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randyman <3 | +3.04 | 69 | 40 |
| #2 | Bil1337 | +2.84 | 88 | 60 |
| #3 | Farleez | +1.68 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | Pachrik | +1.56 | 81 | 54 |
| #5 | RJS | +1.34 | 74 | 74 |





