








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1152 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,090 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 780 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1162 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1146 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1002 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,154 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | STR_NO_MERCY | 50% | 10 |
| #7 | TrueEcho | 48% | 64 |
| #8 | Shiro | 48% | 60 |
| #9 | smol_peaches | 47% | 66 |
| #10 | Bernie Senders | 47% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bear_tuck | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Prez Yeti | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Aldgia | 2 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | TrueEcho | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Bernie Senders | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bernie Senders | 235 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | TrueEcho | 104 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | bear_tuck | 64 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Prez Yeti | 50 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Aldgia | 33 | 0.14 | 1 min |





