








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2644 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1567 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1514 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1550 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $773,702 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 408 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ewsli. | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | Грегориус VII | 70% | 23 |
| #3 | Monkey D.Luffy | 63% | 32 |
| #4 | K2 | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | Th0n | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Braampels | 52% | 21 |
| #11 | Incinerate | 50% | 14 |
| #12 | Fuse-魔- | 43% | 23 |
| #13 | Itua | 36% | 11 |
| #14 | RamboNegev- | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keXo | 10 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | Monkey D.Luffy | 5 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Ne0n | 5 | 0.0169 |
| #4 | WutrU | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ben | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WutrU | 273 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Fuse-魔- | 96 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | Monkey D.Luffy | 87 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Itua | 60 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | K2 | 57 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _BaasHaas_ | +2.56 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | Ne0n | +1.51 | 67 | 50 |
| #3 | Monkey D.Luffy | +1.32 | 65 | 61 |
| #4 | keXo | +0.83 | 86 | 63 |
| #5 | WutrU | +0.53 | 79 | 68 |





