








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 111 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4246 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4232 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4107 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3468 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,786,670 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1779 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ewsli. | 52% | 347 |
| #8 | Iraq toilet | 47% | 60 |
| #9 | kush blunts worth | 46% | 125 |
| #10 | Ne0n | 44% | 78 |
| #11 | The12thOne | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ewsli. | 45 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | ben | 28 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Monkey D.Luffy | 24 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Iraq toilet | 24 | 0.0205 |
| #5 | Ne0n | 23 | 0.0148 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monkey D.Luffy | 690 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | Incinerate | 552 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | Ewsli. | 548 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | ben | 503 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #5 | Th0n | 253 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _BaasHaas_ | +4.46 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | keXo | +3.08 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | ben | +1.63 | 67 | 50 |
| #4 | Monkey D.Luffy | +1.50 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | Ne0n | +1.08 | 77 | 54 |





