








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 572 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2778 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2189 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3136 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2533 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $932,464 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 663 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dabeanstalk34 | 74% | 35 |
| #2 | Lx | 72% | 36 |
| #3 | DeWi | 69% | 42 |
| #4 | sp00n | 59% | 140 |
| #5 | Sellular | 58% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DeWi | 69% | 42 |
| #4 | sp00n | 59% | 140 |
| #5 | Sellular | 58% | 43 |
| #6 | DaBeanstalk | 52% | 267 |
| #7 | FWONCIS | 47% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaBeanstalk | 46 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | sp00n | 25 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | FWONCIS | 9 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Sellular | 8 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | DeWi | 6 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaBeanstalk | 822 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | FWONCIS | 237 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | sp00n | 178 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | dabeanstalk34 | 101 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sellular | 92 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sp00n | +3.28 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | Lx | +3.10 | 83 | 73 |
| #3 | dabeanstalk34 | +2.38 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | DaBeanstalk | +2.28 | 74 | 57 |
| #5 | Sellular | +2.27 | 73 | 62 |





