








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,416 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4654 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4979 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3489 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4294 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,556,331 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1297 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blue Van | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | DaBeanstalk | 56% | 227 |
| #3 | sp00n | 53% | 58 |
| #4 | Lx | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | DeWi | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blue Van | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | DaBeanstalk | 56% | 227 |
| #3 | sp00n | 53% | 58 |
| #4 | Lx | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | DeWi | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaBeanstalk | 16 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | sp00n | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Blue Van | 6 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | DeWi | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Lx | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaBeanstalk | 608 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | DeWi | 126 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Lx | 60 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Blue Van | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | sp00n | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sellular | +1.34 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | sp00n | +0.79 | 75 | 51 |
| #3 | DaBeanstalk | +0.57 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | Lx | +0.56 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | DeWi | -0.87 | 66 | 70 |





