








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 913 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4319 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4032 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4363 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4968 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,693,541 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1005 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lx | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | Blue Van | 59% | 140 |
| #3 | Toxify | 58% | 50 |
| #4 | DeWi | 57% | 129 |
| #5 | Calico Jack | 54% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DeWi | 57% | 129 |
| #5 | Calico Jack | 54% | 71 |
| #6 | Sellular | 53% | 58 |
| #7 | DaBeanstalk | 51% | 235 |
| #8 | FWONCIS | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaBeanstalk | 45 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Blue Van | 19 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | DeWi | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Toxify | 8 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | FWONCIS | 7 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaBeanstalk | 728 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | DeWi | 259 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Blue Van | 216 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | FWONCIS | 183 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sellular | 158 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sp00n | +2.42 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | DaBeanstalk | +1.74 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | Sellular | +1.57 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | Lx | +1.13 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | Toxify | -0.01 | 70 | 27 |





