








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 892 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




88 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,533 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8517 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6330 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6823 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5863 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,982,921 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1028 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lx | 56% | 100 |
| #2 | Sellular | 56% | 227 |
| #3 | DeWi | 55% | 110 |
| #4 | awpr8r | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | Blue Van | 52% | 267 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DeWi | 55% | 110 |
| #4 | awpr8r | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | Blue Van | 52% | 267 |
| #6 | sp00n | 51% | 235 |
| #7 | FWONCIS | 50% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sp00n | 35 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Blue Van | 32 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Sellular | 13 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | FWONCIS | 13 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | DeWi | 7 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sellular | 694 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | Blue Van | 441 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | FWONCIS | 402 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | sp00n | 289 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | DeWi | 231 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sp00n | +2.17 | 76 | 56 |
| #2 | DaBeanstalk | +1.73 | 77 | 58 |
| #3 | Sellular | +1.55 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | Lx | +1.05 | 80 | 72 |
| #5 | DeWi | +0.51 | 72 | 70 |





