








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 603 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2257 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4616 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2276 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2666 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1386 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,093,620 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 505 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHARKBAIT | 50% | 22 |
| #2 | DaBeanstalk | 50% | 141 |
| #3 | Anrixus | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | sp00n | 47% | 55 |
| #5 | Blue Van | 47% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Blue Van | 47% | 72 |
| #6 | RicePaddy | 47% | 101 |
| #7 | HanFroyo | 46% | 71 |
| #8 | Vexation | 46% | 57 |
| #9 | Holyprin | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaBeanstalk | 29 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | Blue Van | 12 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | sp00n | 9 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Anrixus | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | HanFroyo | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaBeanstalk | 448 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | Blue Van | 123 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | HanFroyo | 97 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | sp00n | 90 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vexation | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HanFroyo | +5.83 | 89 | 52 |
| #2 | Vexation | +4.93 | 85 | 68 |
| #3 | sp00n | +3.59 | 65 | 53 |
| #4 | DaBeanstalk | +2.52 | 77 | 58 |
| #5 | SHARKBAIT | +0.56 | 74 | 44 |





