








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,967 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3105 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2790 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1735 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2337 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $961,322 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zooch | 64% | 42 |
| #2 | mario player has xantares aim | 50% | 84 |
| #3 | kark | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | KAG | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | Timmi | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | itslexie_ | 43% | 37 |
| #8 | zv | 42% | 33 |
| #9 | Quan | 38% | 24 |
| #10 | gay wizard | 35% | 82 |
| #11 | unsuspecting family of 4 | 24% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gay wizard | 10 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | unsuspecting family of 4 | 6 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | Zooch | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | mario player has xantares aim | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | zv | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mario player has xantares aim | 400 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | KAG | 258 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | Timmi | 212 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| #4 | kark | 150 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | itslexie_ | 130 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zooch | +5.43 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | mario player has xantares aim | +3.29 | 84 | 64 |
| #3 | gay wizard | +1.15 | 74 | 28 |
| #4 | Quan | +1.12 | 71 | 49 |
| #5 | Timmi | +0.42 | 74 | 70 |





