








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 426 | 27% |
| Smokes | 405 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 440 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 298 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,368 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raski | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | Ruoh0_ | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | konari | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | Joona"" | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | Lahnajumala | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | konari | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | Joona"" | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | Lahnajumala | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | Nuori Aleksanteri Suuri | 47% | 32 |
| #7 | Blunder Guru | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blunder Guru | 3 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Joona"" | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Nuori Aleksanteri Suuri | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | konari | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Raski | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuori Aleksanteri Suuri | 168 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | Joona"" | 96 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Raski | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lahnajumala | 25 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Blunder Guru | 20 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuori Aleksanteri Suuri | +3.49 | 71 | 77 |
| #2 | Raski | +0.20 | 58 | 43 |
| #3 | Joona"" | -0.15 | 40 | 65 |
| #4 | Lahnajumala | -0.20 | 50 | 50 |
| #5 | konari | -0.88 | 22 | 33 |





