








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1002 | 33% |
| Smokes | 685 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 856 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 521 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $351,651 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hämyr | 71% | 42 |
| #2 | Viiltäjä | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Qtamo | 59% | 69 |
| #4 | koira | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | laholörppö | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | noichik | 29% | 7 |
| #10 | seel | 26% | 19 |
| #11 | 𝕶𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖓 | 22% | 9 |
| #12 | bonkbonkbonkbonk | 13% | 8 |
| #13 | ItsNevet | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hämyr | 7 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Qtamo | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | koira | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | laholörppö | 2 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | seel | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qtamo | 305 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | Hämyr | 174 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | koira | 98 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | seel | 64 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | catgirls | 48 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hämyr | +2.59 | 65 | 59 |
| #2 | ItsNevet | +2.05 | 63 | 61 |
| #3 | Qtamo | +1.05 | 74 | 64 |
| #4 | Blunder Guru | +0.62 | 62 | 56 |
| #5 | catgirls | +0.47 | 53 | 44 |





