








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,802 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1665 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1596 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1636 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 905 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,851 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCxM | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Aguboo | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Dylisious | 71% | 21 |
| #4 | BigQ | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | Chun | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | YuKi™(。・ω・。)ノ♡ | 58% | 95 |
| #9 | HaZard | 56% | 16 |
| #10 | ShuKai | 55% | 29 |
| #11 | QuKae | 55% | 11 |
| #12 | 魯迪烏斯 · 格雷拉特 | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woo | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | CAPoO | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ShuKai | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | YuKi™(。・ω・。)ノ♡ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Aguboo | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woo | 373 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | YuKi™(。・ω・。)ノ♡ | 305 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | CAPoO | 216 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | ShuKai | 101 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dylisious | 93 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigQ | +2.72 | 57 | 74 |
| #2 | CAPoO | +2.67 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | SCxM | +2.44 | 61 | 44 |
| #4 | HaZard | +1.75 | 79 | 40 |
| #5 | ShuKai | +1.12 | 76 | 48 |





