








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 158 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1952 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1460 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1545 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1619 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,015,335 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sonah | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | UhSeem | 57% | 58 |
| #3 | Ronald Mcfuckin' Donald | 55% | 167 |
| #4 | SonahTV | 55% | 220 |
| #5 | jtronda | 54% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | UhSeem | 57% | 58 |
| #3 | Ronald Mcfuckin' Donald | 55% | 167 |
| #4 | SonahTV | 55% | 220 |
| #5 | jtronda | 54% | 123 |
| #6 | Band1t | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronald Mcfuckin' Donald | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | SonahTV | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | jtronda | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | UhSeem | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Band1t | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SonahTV | 904 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #2 | Ronald Mcfuckin' Donald | 479 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | jtronda | 297 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | UhSeem | 182 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Band1t | 128 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronald Mcfuckin' Donald | +2.99 | 71 | 75 |
| #2 | Band1t | +1.26 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | cantstopeating | +0.13 | 58 | 62 |
| #4 | sonah | +0.09 | 64 | 69 |
| #5 | SonahTV | -0.04 | 57 | 74 |





