








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
897 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 549 | 24% |
| Smokes | 720 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 722 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 328 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $378,098 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SonahTV | 55% | 71 |
| #6 | Ronald Mcfuckin' Donald | 52% | 52 |
| #7 | cantstopeating | 48% | 56 |
| #8 | jtronda | 44% | 41 |
| #9 | venik^ | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SonahTV | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | cantstopeating | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Ronald Mcfuckin' Donald | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | jtronda | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | GY!BE | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SonahTV | 293 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | cantstopeating | 150 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ronald Mcfuckin' Donald | 143 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | jtronda | 101 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | UhSeem | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sonah | +5.15 | 55 | 77 |
| #2 | Ronald Mcfuckin' Donald | +3.44 | 69 | 80 |
| #3 | Band1t | +1.40 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | GY!BE | +0.65 | 41 | 49 |
| #5 | cantstopeating | -0.00 | 54 | 65 |





