








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2801 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1203 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




158 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
18448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13755 | 27% |
| Smokes | 13526 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 12923 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 10799 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,623,896 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5281 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unk | 63% | 92 |
| #2 | Explicit | 53% | 137 |
| #3 | begob | 51% | 108 |
| #4 | Ms.Explicit | 51% | 95 |
| #5 | RonDaDon | 48% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | begob | 51% | 108 |
| #4 | Ms.Explicit | 51% | 95 |
| #5 | RonDaDon | 48% | 87 |
| #6 | Cecil | 46% | 125 |
| #7 | Kincade | 45% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Explicit | 61 | 0.0219 |
| #2 | Cecil | 19 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | begob | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Kincade | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Ms.Explicit | 5 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kincade | 439 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Explicit | 389 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | unk | 383 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | begob | 176 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | RonDaDon | 168 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | begob | +2.73 | 79 | 41 |
| #2 | unk | +2.42 | 71 | 67 |
| #3 | Cecil | +1.65 | 80 | 30 |
| #4 | UhSeem | +1.33 | 59 | 53 |
| #5 | Kincade | +0.33 | 37 | 39 |





