








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 819 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5776 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4554 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6076 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6178 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,149,748 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GY!BE | 64% | 117 |
| #2 | UhSeem | 59% | 59 |
| #3 | SonahTV | 58% | 213 |
| #4 | cantstopeating | 55% | 167 |
| #5 | jtronda | 54% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | UhSeem | 59% | 59 |
| #3 | SonahTV | 58% | 213 |
| #4 | cantstopeating | 55% | 167 |
| #5 | jtronda | 54% | 124 |
| #6 | Band1t | 52% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cantstopeating | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | SonahTV | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | jtronda | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | UhSeem | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | GY!BE | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SonahTV | 787 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | cantstopeating | 373 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | jtronda | 306 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | UhSeem | 165 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Band1t | 100 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronald Mcfuckin' Donald | +3.66 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | Band1t | +0.62 | 68 | 57 |
| #3 | SonahTV | -0.01 | 59 | 75 |
| #4 | GY!BE | -0.09 | 41 | 58 |
| #5 | cantstopeating | -0.37 | 56 | 62 |





