








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 592 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




112 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4370 | 25% |
| Smokes | 8275 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 3539 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1149 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,946,331 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 835 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Achelees | 53% | 68 |
| #2 | sleepy nero.gtkw | 48% | 295 |
| #3 | Badqers | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | snooze | 47% | 304 |
| #5 | dave | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | sleepy nero.gtkw | 48% | 295 |
| #3 | Badqers | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | snooze | 47% | 304 |
| #5 | dave | 45% | 51 |
| #6 | Giz | 44% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snooze | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | sleepy nero.gtkw | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Achelees | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Giz | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Badqers | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snooze | 1010 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #2 | Badqers | 85 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Achelees | 80 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | sleepy nero.gtkw | 74 | 0.01 | 2 min |
| #5 | dave | 27 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sleepy nero.gtkw | +2.72 | 80 | 28 |
| #2 | snooze | +2.06 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | dave | +0.85 | 90 | 54 |
| #4 | Conor The Coyote | -1.58 | 56 | 55 |
| #5 | Achelees | -1.97 | 29 | 46 |





