








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 841 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3374 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4681 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2727 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4016 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,034,496 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1072 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uɐuqǝɹq | 62% | 264 |
| #2 | QuBit | 56% | 213 |
| #3 | g1n | 55% | 62 |
| #4 | Leuko | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | deejay | 54% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conor The Coyote | 10 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | deejay | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Leuko | 7 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | FaoTheChee | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | QuBit | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deejay | 731 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | uɐuqǝɹq | 479 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | QuBit | 365 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | g1n | 201 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | dry | 143 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uɐuqǝɹq | +4.59 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | deejay | +4.07 | 92 | 63 |
| #3 | QuBit | +2.78 | 88 | 63 |
| #4 | dry | +1.78 | 77 | 66 |
| #5 | dave | +1.46 | 90 | 49 |





