








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 281 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,833 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1947 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2133 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2569 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3184 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,402,942 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 797 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conor The Coyote | 53% | 68 |
| #2 | Holo's Wet Dog Muff | 48% | 163 |
| #3 | Maki | 45% | 142 |
| #4 | Fizzy | 30% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conor The Coyote | 53% | 68 |
| #2 | Holo's Wet Dog Muff | 48% | 163 |
| #3 | Maki | 45% | 142 |
| #4 | Fizzy | 30% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maki | 22 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Conor The Coyote | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Holo's Wet Dog Muff | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Fizzy | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holo's Wet Dog Muff | 252 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Maki | 124 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | Fizzy | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Conor The Coyote | 74 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holo's Wet Dog Muff | +2.45 | 60 | 46 |
| #2 | Conor The Coyote | +0.71 | 53 | 55 |
| #3 | Fizzy | -0.06 | 67 | 34 |
| #4 | Achelees | -0.77 | 29 | 47 |
| #5 | Maki | -2.02 | 17 | 33 |





