








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 657 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 288 matches | ||
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




107 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8218 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6336 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3457 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 5237 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $803,638 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1940 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fArt | 79% | 29 |
| #2 | traditions | 78% | 36 |
| #3 | skruubz | 72% | 39 |
| #4 | owen | 69% | 32 |
| #5 | oomi | 59% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | oomi | 59% | 29 |
| #6 | EX | 59% | 41 |
| #7 | bango | 57% | 81 |
| #8 | Fredrick™ | 57% | 30 |
| #9 | n1 N1h0N | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bango | 12 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | owen | 6 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | skruubz | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | EX | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Fredrick™ | 5 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bango | 336 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | fArt | 282 | 0.43 | 8 min |
| #3 | EX | 206 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | skruubz | 204 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | traditions | 178 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skruubz | +4.18 | 85 | 76 |
| #2 | oomi | +2.15 | 86 | 52 |
| #3 | traditions | +1.31 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | kowalskey | +0.85 | 72 | 62 |
| #5 | bango | +0.33 | 82 | 57 |





