








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,430 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 349 | 24% |
| Smokes | 385 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 336 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 360 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,013 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | true love | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Fabian | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | FlorianPlays | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | mo0n | 100% | 2 |
| #5 | Kaide | 100% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | HYperrrr • Kinguin ❤ | 67% | 12 |
| #13 | s1n | 60% | 5 |
| #14 | tiziaN | 50% | 2 |
| #15 | iNN0XB4B4. | 33% | 3 |
| #16 | prosus | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tabseN | 56 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #2 | HYperrrr • Kinguin ❤ | 46 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | kyuubii | 42 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | s1n | 29 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #5 | mo0n | 24 | 0.71 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaide | +4.22 | 77 | 47 |
| #2 | Krimbo | +3.92 | 89 | 73 |
| #3 | kyuubii | +3.88 | 91 | 82 |
| #4 | JDC | +2.75 | 94 | 72 |
| #5 | s1n | +2.20 | 96 | 86 |





