








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 856 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Renown | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4521 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4996 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6896 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4950 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,333,987 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 735 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kemikaali-Keijo | 53% | 68 |
| #7 | 丂ㄩㄩ尺爪丨乇丂 | 51% | 174 |
| #8 | Salam | 51% | 388 |
| #9 | Jarkko | 50% | 64 |
| #10 | jonezyyw0w | 50% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 丂ㄩㄩ尺爪丨乇丂 | 34 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Salam | 26 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Joppe | 14 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | perkels | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Kemikaali-Keijo | 7 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salam | 1591 | 0.20 | 39 min |
| #2 | 丂ㄩㄩ尺爪丨乇丂 | 873 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #3 | perkels | 363 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jarkko | 335 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #5 | jonezyyw0w | 274 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elmor:D😮💨😎 | +5.29 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | zeizei | +2.98 | 66 | 47 |
| #3 | seNji- | +1.58 | 47 | 67 |
| #4 | Jarkko | +1.25 | 77 | 72 |
| #5 | 丂ㄩㄩ尺爪丨乇丂 | +0.59 | 58 | 65 |





