










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6070 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5278 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2581 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4559 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2121 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,555,207 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 327 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 丂ㄩㄩ尺爪丨乇丂 | 56% | 107 |
| #2 | Joppe | 56% | 124 |
| #3 | seNji- | 55% | 255 |
| #4 | Pac-Man | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | Salam | 52% | 313 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Joppe | 56% | 124 |
| #3 | seNji- | 55% | 255 |
| #4 | Pac-Man | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | Salam | 52% | 313 |
| #6 | jonezyyw0w | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salam | 34 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | 丂ㄩㄩ尺爪丨乇丂 | 19 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Joppe | 13 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | seNji- | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | jonezyyw0w | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salam | 1212 | 0.19 | 29 min |
| #2 | 丂ㄩㄩ尺爪丨乇丂 | 578 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #3 | seNji- | 255 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | Joppe | 208 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pac-Man | 130 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seNji- | +1.50 | 41 | 67 |
| #2 | 丂ㄩㄩ尺爪丨乇丂 | +1.11 | 65 | 65 |
| #3 | Salam | +0.87 | 65 | 74 |
| #4 | Joppe | +0.52 | 60 | 38 |
| #5 | perkels | +0.44 | 60 | 47 |





