








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1169 | 25% |
| Smokes | 601 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1964 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 857 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,016,413 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monkey mauno | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | extinz | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | panda | 61% | 57 |
| #4 | Vincznt. | 59% | 69 |
| #5 | Goose Aka Roffa | 55% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | RasBait10 | 45% | 53 |
| #11 | puff9 | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | ivan | 39% | 31 |
| #13 | Stone | 35% | 23 |
| #14 | Ðragen | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | 8 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Roland | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ivan | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | panda | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Goose Aka Roffa | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | 276 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | panda | 267 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | Vincznt. | 218 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Roland | 153 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ðragen | 139 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | panda | +4.15 | 87 | 79 |
| #2 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | +3.13 | 81 | 83 |
| #3 | monkey mauno | +3.12 | 79 | 22 |
| #4 | extinz | +2.82 | 89 | 64 |
| #5 | Roland | +2.69 | 66 | 57 |





