








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 978 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 147 matches | ||
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Esplay | 47 matches | 1,948 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9894 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7466 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 9775 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 8116 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,124,543 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flexy | 63% | 59 |
| #2 | panda | 61% | 183 |
| #3 | Goose Aka Roffa | 56% | 117 |
| #4 | melle | 56% | 144 |
| #5 | Vincznt. | 55% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ðragen | 39 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Roland | 20 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | panda | 16 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Vincznt. | 14 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | melle | 10 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ðragen | 834 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #2 | panda | 698 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | Vincznt. | 692 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #4 | Roland | 475 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | RasBait10 | 188 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | panda | +2.99 | 85 | 77 |
| #2 | Roland | +2.06 | 71 | 61 |
| #3 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | +1.87 | 80 | 82 |
| #4 | melle | +1.37 | 58 | 66 |
| #5 | Flexy | +0.42 | 90 | 59 |





