








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 723 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Esplay | 33 matches | 1,511 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5330 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4534 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5750 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4230 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,517,287 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1927 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flexy | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | Oskar | 59% | 69 |
| #3 | panda | 58% | 169 |
| #4 | RasBait10 | 57% | 105 |
| #5 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | 55% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | melle | 54% | 82 |
| #7 | Roland | 51% | 317 |
| #8 | Goose Aka Roffa | 48% | 133 |
| #9 | Ðragen | 46% | 84 |
| #10 | di$co | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | 19 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Roland | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Goose Aka Roffa | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Ðragen | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | panda | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | 1163 | 0.24 | 31 min |
| #2 | panda | 654 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #3 | Roland | 486 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Ðragen | 378 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #5 | RasBait10 | 176 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | panda | +3.77 | 85 | 77 |
| #2 | Roland | +2.48 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | +1.79 | 80 | 82 |
| #4 | Flexy | +1.29 | 94 | 66 |
| #5 | melle | +0.64 | 63 | 66 |





