








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Esplay | 20 matches | 1,285 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 925 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2374 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3359 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 2000 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,749,309 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | panda | 58% | 72 |
| #2 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | 56% | 117 |
| #3 | Oskar | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | Roland | 49% | 202 |
| #5 | Vincznt. | 48% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Vincznt. | 48% | 133 |
| #6 | melle | 45% | 62 |
| #7 | RasBait10 | 44% | 171 |
| #8 | Flexy | 38% | 26 |
| #9 | Ðragen | 33% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roland | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | RasBait10 | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Vincznt. | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Ðragen | 6 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | 597 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #2 | Vincznt. | 418 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | Roland | 399 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | RasBait10 | 316 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | panda | 294 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | +4.96 | 83 | 83 |
| #2 | Roland | +4.23 | 73 | 60 |
| #3 | panda | +3.74 | 87 | 78 |
| #4 | Flexy | +3.44 | 95 | 61 |
| #5 | melle | +2.34 | 64 | 66 |





