








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,813 | |
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5649 | 19% |
| Smokes | 7677 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8570 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 8086 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,552,927 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2099 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | melle | 55% | 265 |
| #2 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | 55% | 385 |
| #3 | Scoot | 53% | 60 |
| #4 | panda | 53% | 215 |
| #5 | Oskar | 52% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Vincznt. | 51% | 317 |
| #7 | RasBait10 | 51% | 194 |
| #8 | di$co | 49% | 93 |
| #9 | Goose Aka Roffa | 49% | 202 |
| #10 | Ðragen | 49% | 286 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | 45 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Ðragen | 29 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Vincznt. | 18 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | melle | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | panda | 13 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | 1731 | 0.22 | 48 min |
| #2 | Vincznt. | 911 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #3 | Ðragen | 887 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #4 | panda | 829 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #5 | melle | 368 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | panda | +3.30 | 85 | 78 |
| #2 | Roland | +2.49 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | melle | +1.92 | 59 | 67 |
| #4 | allubsah #Gordon Klotpung | +1.54 | 79 | 82 |
| #5 | Vincznt. | -0.08 | 69 | 63 |





