








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1008 | 30% |
| Smokes | 370 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1053 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 946 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $441,257 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 694 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NewTe$tament | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | daddys little spastic | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Pierce | 53% | 101 |
| #4 | Banana | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | jake | 49% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Chad Ryan | 45% | 20 |
| #10 | Beans, gentlemen | 38% | 13 |
| #11 | Jevty | 38% | 13 |
| #12 | Maevvy | 33% | 9 |
| #13 | RGriffer | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pierce | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | infinity ☾ | 3 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | RGriffer | 2 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | daddys little spastic | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Beans, gentlemen | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pierce | 297 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | LiLMaN | 234 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #3 | jake | 179 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Chad Ryan | 65 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | RGriffer | 64 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad Ryan | +4.71 | 72 | 59 |
| #2 | daddys little spastic | +3.24 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | RGriffer | +2.22 | 64 | 67 |
| #4 | LiLMaN | +1.85 | 78 | 74 |
| #5 | Maevvy | +1.38 | 65 | 55 |





