








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,925 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1071 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1210 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1327 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1317 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $986,879 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 659 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shaft | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | hunter.exe | 49% | 112 |
| #3 | LiLMaN | 48% | 40 |
| #4 | Pierce | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | jake | 44% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | darrrrrby | 43% | 23 |
| #7 | fish? | 40% | 15 |
| #8 | Ravishna | 29% | 17 |
| #9 | Jevty | 28% | 25 |
| #10 | yung chimp attack | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pierce | 7 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | jake | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | shaft | 4 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | fish? | 4 | 0.0145 |
| #5 | hunter.exe | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiLMaN | 238 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #2 | jake | 192 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | hunter.exe | 175 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Pierce | 139 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | shaft | 47 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiLMaN | +2.91 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | hunter.exe | +1.25 | 79 | 44 |
| #3 | jake | +1.15 | 60 | 59 |
| #4 | Banana | +0.64 | 69 | 44 |
| #5 | shaft | +0.24 | 69 | 49 |





