








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2051 | 47% |
| Smokes | 1309 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 328 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 686 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $163,222 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ iikaris | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | ikkinori-senpai | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Gh0stye | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | Jesseo | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | PlagueOfJustice | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ikkinori-senpai | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Gh0stye | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | Jesseo | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | PlagueOfJustice | 31% | 13 |
| #6 | dalphabet | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gh0stye | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | PlagueOfJustice | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ikkinori-senpai | 38 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #2 | Jesseo | 21 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | PlagueOfJustice | 17 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪ iikaris | 16 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Gh0stye | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesseo | +1.25 | 70 | 63 |
| #2 | ikkinori-senpai | +1.23 | 78 | 57 |
| #3 | GazzaJC | +0.40 | 63 | 67 |
| #4 | Gh0stye | +0.21 | 73 | 43 |
| #5 | ✪ iikaris | -1.33 | 68 | 67 |





