








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 912 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 618 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7325 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5654 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4551 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2809 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,239,536 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Liil Auzzie | 52% | 108 |
| #2 | Gh0stye | 46% | 197 |
| #3 | Jesseo | 45% | 255 |
| #4 | cali | 42% | 69 |
| #5 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Liil Auzzie | 52% | 108 |
| #2 | Gh0stye | 46% | 197 |
| #3 | Jesseo | 45% | 255 |
| #4 | cali | 42% | 69 |
| #5 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesseo | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Gh0stye | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Liil Auzzie | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | cali | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Liil Auzzie | 277 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jesseo | 266 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | Gh0stye | 146 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | cali | 124 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | +4.13 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | Jesseo | +0.18 | 55 | 58 |
| #3 | Liil Auzzie | +0.16 | 62 | 59 |
| #4 | ✪ iikaris | +0.12 | 74 | 62 |
| #5 | Gh0stye | -0.02 | 82 | 49 |





