








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 837 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9111 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2768 | 16% |
| Smokes | 6604 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 4909 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2925 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,309,190 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 609 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | 52% | 63 |
| #2 | ikkinori-senpai | 49% | 55 |
| #3 | Jacko | 48% | 83 |
| #4 | Jesseo | 46% | 253 |
| #5 | ✪ iikaris | 46% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪ iikaris | 46% | 197 |
| #6 | cali | 45% | 249 |
| #7 | candlez | 45% | 53 |
| #8 | FloppyDops | 38% | 87 |
| #9 | xHayori | 32% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xHayori | 14 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | ✪ iikaris | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Jesseo | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | cali | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | FloppyDops | 7 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ iikaris | 488 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | cali | 379 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | Jesseo | 259 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | Jacko | 234 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | candlez | 193 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | +3.96 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | candlez | +1.37 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | Jesseo | +1.14 | 58 | 59 |
| #4 | ikkinori-senpai | +0.89 | 73 | 58 |
| #5 | Gh0stye | +0.58 | 77 | 47 |





