








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,815 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 558 | 31% |
| Smokes | 360 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 473 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 424 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,430 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Battlescarred Bumhole | 62% | 26 |
| #9 | bond | 57% | 28 |
| #10 | Trilted | 56% | 16 |
| #11 | Bolton | 50% | 22 |
| #12 | SJA | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CREAM | 9 | 0.0188 |
| #2 | Bolton | 6 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | Trilted | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | bond | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | SJA | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolton | 59 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Battlescarred Bumhole | 56 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | bond | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Angbwa | 23 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Trilted | 20 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angbwa | +7.84 | 90 | 78 |
| #2 | Bolton | +3.40 | 84 | 57 |
| #3 | CREAM | +2.51 | 78 | 32 |
| #4 | Battlescarred Bumhole | +2.23 | 70 | 73 |
| #5 | SJA | +0.92 | 77 | 40 |





