








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1392 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1718 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2309 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 71 | 1% |
| Molotovs | 862 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $877,929 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rurouni | 22 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Arvid | 21 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Perry Da PlaTtypus | 18 | 0.0168 |
| #4 | SilkyDumplings | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | UnKoalafied | 5 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rurouni | 532 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Arvid | 147 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Perry Da PlaTtypus | 131 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | SilkyDumplings | 102 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Blue's Clues | 80 | 0.07 | 1 min |





