








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Wingman | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4781 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6342 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 4251 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2043 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,846,928 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1057 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SilkyDumplings | 61% | 76 |
| #2 | Rurouni | 58% | 168 |
| #3 | Official3N4XL | 57% | 58 |
| #4 | Perry Da PlaTtypus | 55% | 101 |
| #5 | Arvid | 54% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonkler | 29 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Ducke | 24 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Perry Da PlaTtypus | 13 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Rurouni | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | SilkyDumplings | 8 | 0.0051 |





