








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 161 matches | ||
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3327 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,953 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3238 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2399 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3354 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2962 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $961,385 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justjp1 | 79% | 28 |
| #2 | Tobî | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | Secro | 64% | 236 |
| #4 | Storm | 64% | 196 |
| #5 | Uganda Commanda | 60% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tobî | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | Secro | 64% | 236 |
| #4 | Storm | 64% | 196 |
| #5 | Uganda Commanda | 60% | 116 |
| #6 | ΞMoneten Bursche | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Secro | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Uganda Commanda | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Storm | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Secro | 541 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | Uganda Commanda | 222 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Tobî | 194 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #4 | Storm | 121 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | ΞMoneten Bursche | 54 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storm | +3.56 | 92 | 57 |
| #2 | Secro | +1.33 | 69 | 68 |
| #3 | Masta0ogway | +1.13 | 79 | 65 |
| #4 | ΞMoneten Bursche | -1.56 | 52 | 62 |
| #5 | justjp1 | -2.57 | 27 | 51 |





