








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4280 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2902 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2134 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2222 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $238,046 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masta0ogway | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | Uganda Commanda | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Storm | 64% | 36 |
| #4 | Secro | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | cristian | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | retro3065 | 47% | 43 |
| #7 | Wulupix | 45% | 29 |
| #8 | PIPEDREAM EXTREME | 44% | 25 |
| #9 | Cxnni8 | 42% | 24 |
| #10 | pongo505 | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cxnni8 | 4 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | PIPEDREAM EXTREME | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | cristian | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Masta0ogway | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masta0ogway | 138 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cxnni8 | 98 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | cristian | 93 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Secro | 81 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Uganda Commanda | 64 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storm | +4.81 | 94 | 57 |
| #2 | Cxnni8 | +3.98 | 74 | 60 |
| #3 | cristian | +2.47 | 76 | 51 |
| #4 | PIPEDREAM EXTREME | +2.31 | 49 | 42 |
| #5 | Masta0ogway | +2.25 | 81 | 65 |





