








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 487 | 14% |
| Smokes | 626 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1322 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 949 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $286,413 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masta0ogway | 51% | 39 |
| #2 | Tobî | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Secro | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | Uganda Commanda | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | Storm | 48% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masta0ogway | 51% | 39 |
| #2 | Tobî | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Secro | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | Uganda Commanda | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | Storm | 48% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uganda Commanda | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Storm | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Secro | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masta0ogway | 138 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Uganda Commanda | 104 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Secro | 96 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Storm | 38 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tobî | 26 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storm | +2.95 | 90 | 47 |
| #2 | Masta0ogway | +2.33 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | Secro | +1.53 | 74 | 59 |
| #4 | ΞMoneten Bursche | -1.02 | 56 | 61 |
| #5 | Uganda Commanda | -3.54 | 29 | 67 |





