








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 699 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7347 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5889 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2764 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4855 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $734,003 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 615 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | T♡rry | 65% | 117 |
| #9 | DennisRobbman | 63% | 32 |
| #10 | rahzee | 62% | 189 |
| #11 | solar | 62% | 76 |
| #12 | BareBearBoy | 57% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rahzee | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | meo | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | T♡rry | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | swim | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | BareBearBoy | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meo | 874 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | rahzee | 832 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #3 | T♡rry | 637 | 0.27 | 19 min |
| #4 | ink | 313 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #5 | swim | 223 | 0.11 | 6 min |





