








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 104 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7332 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3728 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2628 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4785 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $988,145 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swim | 73% | 40 |
| #2 | MEGA ❤︎ methpuppy | 71% | 34 |
| #3 | Creature of Speed | 69% | 51 |
| #4 | meo | 68% | 85 |
| #5 | voip | 67% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | rahzee | 62% | 97 |
| #9 | mars | 62% | 60 |
| #10 | sun | 59% | 54 |
| #11 | Euphie | 55% | 31 |
| #12 | rigboner | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rahzee | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | meo | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | T♡rry | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | mars | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | voip | 5 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KAP | 487 | 0.32 | 15 min |
| #2 | rahzee | 458 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #3 | meo | 338 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | T♡rry | 294 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #5 | mars | 184 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KAP | +4.42 | 84 | 79 |
| #2 | meo | +3.00 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | T♡rry | +2.73 | 77 | 75 |
| #4 | Creature of Speed | +2.09 | 84 | 58 |
| #5 | sun | +2.05 | 76 | 69 |





