








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 444 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2964 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3046 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3061 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2467 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,116,446 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CJW | 56% | 85 |
| #2 | SUS | 53% | 70 |
| #3 | SHRIMPY Aka Young Putin dick | 52% | 62 |
| #4 | Jaribarh i din hus | 46% | 50 |
| #5 | Tjusti | 45% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SUS | 53% | 70 |
| #3 | SHRIMPY Aka Young Putin dick | 52% | 62 |
| #4 | Jaribarh i din hus | 46% | 50 |
| #5 | Tjusti | 45% | 60 |
| #6 | Gonoed | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHRIMPY Aka Young Putin dick | 13 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | SUS | 10 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Gonoed | 8 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | CJW | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Tjusti | 6 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CJW | 304 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | SHRIMPY Aka Young Putin dick | 255 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | SUS | 178 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tjusti | 163 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Gonoed | 158 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHRIMPY Aka Young Putin dick | +2.62 | 79 | 61 |
| #2 | CJW | +2.10 | 76 | 55 |
| #3 | SUS | +1.69 | 65 | 61 |
| #4 | Tjusti | +0.83 | 62 | 50 |
| #5 | lyk | -0.44 | 46 | 52 |





