








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 288 matches | ||
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,968 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4370 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3209 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1205 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2184 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,502,959 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tjusti | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | Dessau | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | Pappa D | 64% | 53 |
| #4 | langeslange | 59% | 82 |
| #5 | lyk | 56% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pappa D | 64% | 53 |
| #4 | langeslange | 59% | 82 |
| #5 | lyk | 56% | 85 |
| #6 | Gonoed | 52% | 97 |
| #7 | SUS | 49% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gonoed | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | langeslange | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | lyk | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | SUS | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Tjusti | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gonoed | 292 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | SUS | 180 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | lyk | 155 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | langeslange | 139 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dessau | 124 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tjusti | +1.74 | 73 | 53 |
| #2 | CJW | +1.71 | 74 | 53 |
| #3 | Dessau | +1.62 | 83 | 71 |
| #4 | Pappa D | +0.17 | 55 | 53 |
| #5 | langeslange | +0.09 | 84 | 48 |





